I still wonder wats cookin...

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ
so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing.
I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with
their heart. FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I
were getting into bed. Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she
eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me." I
said "WHAT??!! What was that?!" So she says the words that every
boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch
with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your
physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying,
"Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the
bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I
went to sleep. The very next day I opted to take the day off of work
to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went
shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with
her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She
couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them
all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said
lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department
where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she
was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a
shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for
a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I
think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She
was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement.
Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is
all dear, let's go to the cashier." I could hardly contain myself when
I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it." Her face just went
completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?" I then said
"honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just
not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy
your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like
she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who
I am and not for the things I buy you?" Apparently I'm not having sex
tonight either.